That's Some Good Clean Family Fun Right There Cotton

Edit

Cotton McKnight: I'thousand existence told that Boilerplate Joe'due south does non have enough players and will be forfeiting the championship match.

Pepper Brooks: It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's run into if it pays off for 'em.

Patches O'Houlihan: If you can dodge a wrench, you can dodge a brawl.

Justin: What?

[Patches throws a wrench and hits Justin in the face]

Patches O'Houlihan: [unrated version] Holy hell, son, you're about as useful as a cock-flavored lollipop!

Lance Armstrong: Could I become a bottle of water. - - Hey, aren't you Peter La Fleur?

Peter La Fleur: Lance Armstrong!

Lance Armstrong: Yeah, that's me. But I'chiliad a big fan of yours.

Peter La Fleur: Really?

Lance Armstrong: Yep, I've been watching the dodgeball tournament on the Ocho. ESPN eight. I just tin can't get enough of it. Just, good luck in the tournament. I'1000 really pulling for you against those jerks from Globo Gym. I remember you better hurry up or you're gonna be tardily.

Peter La Fleur: Uh, actually I decided to quit... Lance.

Lance Armstrong: Quit? You know, once I was thinking about quitting when I was diagnosed with brain, lung and testicular cancer, all at the aforementioned fourth dimension. Only with the love and support of my friends and family unit, I got dorsum on the bike and I won the Tour de French republic five times in a row. But I'm sure yous have a good reason to quit. So what are you dying from that's keeping you from the finals?

Peter La Fleur: Correct now information technology feels a little scrap similar... shame.

Lance Armstrong: Well, I guess if a person never quit when the going got tough, they wouldn't have anything to regret for the rest of their life. Simply proficient luck to you lot Peter. I'm sure this decision won't haunt you forever.

Cotton McKnight: In 23 years of broadcasting I thought I'd seen it all, folks. But it looks similar Peter La Fleur has really blindfolded himself.

Pepper Brooks: He will non exist able to run into very well, Cotton.

Kate Veatch: For instance, do you realize you haven't collected whatsoever membership fees in 13 months?

Peter La Fleur: Hmmm...

Kate Veatch: I'thou curious, is information technology strictly apathy, or do you really not have a goal in life?

Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that yous might non accomplish it. But if you lot don't have i, then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya... it feels phenomenal.

Kate Veatch: Well I estimate that makes sense, in a really lamentable way.

Peter La Fleur: Sad? You lot want to know what'south pitiful? Six grown men playing dodgeball.

White Goodman: I know you lot. You know you. And I know yous know that I know you lot.

Patches O'Houlihan: If y'all're going to become true dodgeballers, and so yous've got to learn the five d's of dodgeball: dodge, duck, dip, swoop and contrivance!

Peter La Fleur: You actually retrieve you can come up in here and buy me out, White, you're a lot dumber than I thought.

White Goodman: Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you lot idea that I think that I thought that I was once.

Peter La Fleur: Y'all need some assist leaving White?

White Goodman: This doesn't business yous, Lafleur.

Peter La Fleur: Not nearly every bit much every bit your pilus does, that's for sure, but uh, I believe she asked you to leave.

White Goodman: I get it, you caught the scent of a bottom stag in your nostrils. Pity. I'll permit you have your little moment, LaFleur, 'cause after this tournament, your gym, your life - and your gal - are gonna be mine. To exist continued.

[Reaches up to cuddle her]

Kate Veatch: [Judo-grabs White Goodman and slams his confront into the wall, leaving a streak of makeup] Yous don't get to affect me, e'er!

Peter La Fleur: Okay, Romeo, let me help you up.

White Goodman: Get off of me, don't you bear upon me! It is over between the states, Kate. Nobody makes me drain my own blood - nobody!

Patches O'Houlihan: [giving the pre-match pep talk] And will someone take hold of a goddamn ball? Information technology'due south like watching a bunch of retards trying to fuck a doorknob out there!

Bister: Justin! I love you!

Justin: I dear you t...

White Goodman: [hits Justin in the face with a Dodgeball] Joanie loves Chachi!

Casino Worker: [a casino worker and a security baby-sit wheels out a huge treasue breast] Here are your winnings, Mr. La Fleur. Congratuations.

Peter La Fleur: Right on time. I appreciate information technology. Thanks, guys.

White Goodman: [curious with acrimony] Winnings? What winnings? What winnings? What is that?

Peter La Fleur: Oh, gosh! I totally forgot to tell you, White. I took the $100,000 ransom you lot gave me final night and I put on us to win. We were going at fifty to one. Anyone? Acme of your head. What's fifty times $100,000?

Owen: $50,000?

Kate Veatch: $v million! Peter, are y'all kidding me?

Peter La Fleur: [opens the treasure breast, revealing stacks of cash] Surprise!

White Goodman: Let me the pleasance of introducing you lot to Blade... Laser... Blazer...

Cotton wool McKnight: It's time to carve up the wheat from the chaff, the men from the boys, the awkwardly feminine from the possibly Canadian.

Cotton McKnight: Looks similar it's gonna be a 2-on-one, a ménage à trois of pain.

Pepper Brooks: Usually you pay double for that kind of action, Cotton.

Cotton McKnight: Boilerplate Joe'south has a tough task, facing the Lumberjacks. These woodsmen probably haven't even smelled a adult female in eight months.

Pepper Brooks: They must masturbate a lot, Cotton fiber.

Cotton wool McKnight: Do you believe in unlikelihoods? Average Joe'due south shocking the dodgeball world and upsetting Globo Gym in the championship friction match!

Pepper Brooks: Unbelievable!

Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, I have been to the Great Wall of Communist china, I accept seen the Pyramids of Arab republic of egypt, I've even witnessed a grown man satisfy a camel. But never in all my years as a sportscaster have I witnessed something equally improbable, as impossible, as what we've witnessed here today!

Dwight: We're even so missing the teenage love puppy and Steve the Pirate.

Owen: Who'due south Steve the Pirate?

Dwight: The only guy on our team that dresses similar a pirate!

Owen: Expect, in that location's a guy on our squad who dresses like a pirate?

White Goodman: Stick it in your ear, La Fleur. I wouldn't sell you your gym back for all of King Midas' silverish. The gym is mine! So you lot can have your band of yellow-bellied losers and only crawl on outta here!

Peter La Fleur: You're correct, White. I can't brand you sell dorsum my gym, so I'll just take your advice and invest in something. Say... the controlling stake of Globo Gym.

White Goodman: That's preposterous! I'd never let it.

Kate Veatch: Globo Gym is a publicly-traded company, there'due south null y'all can do about it.

Peter La Fleur: And so, I would command Globo Gym and... everything that Globo Gym owns. Which as of last dark is Average Joe's Gym!

[Average Joe'south Team cheering]

Peter La Fleur: I'm your new dominate, White.

White Goodman: Yous tin can't be my boss! Nobody's my boss! I'm my own boss! I created myself!

Peter La Fleur: You're fired, pal.

[Kate decapitates White Goodman's cardboard stand up-up with a well-aimed dodgeball. Anybody stares at her]

Kate Veatch: What? 8 years of softball.

Dwight: Human, she gotta be a lesbian.

Peter La Fleur: She is *not* a lesbian.

Patches O'Houlihan: All I know is, that dyke can play!

Patches O'Houlihan: If y'all desire to have dodgeball victory, you have to grab it by its haunches and y'all gotta hump it into submission!

Peter La Fleur: Come up on, Kate. Information technology's time to put your mouth where our balls are.

White Goodman: There's no reason we need to be shackled by the strictures of the employee-employer human relationship. Unless yous're into that sort of matter. In which case, I got some shackles in the dorsum. I'chiliad simply kidding. But seriously, I've got 'em.

Cotton McKnight: Let me tell y'all, a double-fault final-play elimination hasn't occurred since the Helsinki episode of 1919, and I remember we all remember how THAT turned out!

White Goodman: Yeah, I hope you're all happy at present. Proficient guy wins, Bad guy loses. Big freaking surprise. I love happy endings. You lot know, that'southward the problem with... the American cinema: Can't handle any complexity in it, y'all know? "Don't make me think, I just wanna exist entertained." All right, fine. You want a petty something, something for the ride habitation? Check these boots out for size.

Fran: I am in extreme country of arousal. Please to make sex all over my face.

Steve the Pirate: The dread pirate Steve be in no human being's debt. I'll make a castling with ya; true as the north star. In exchange for your kindness, I'll be sharing me buried treasure with ya... in one case I find it, that be.

Peter La Fleur: Hang on a second. You wanna become a cheerleader to evidence you are not a loser?

Justin: Yeah. Why?

Peter La Fleur: Zippo. Loftier schoolhouse'due south changed a fleck since I was a kid.

Gordon: Hey, Honey!

[his wife gives the "Fifty" sign]

Gordon: "L" for beloved! Good times.

Dwight: "L" for love? That doesn't mean love, Gordon...

Peter La Fleur: No, information technology's... people have different translations for different things and that's a special bond that you have with uh... with your mail-social club wife. I recollect that'south nice. It'southward fine.

Peter La Fleur: As well bad Hallmark doesn't make a "Sad your dodgeball motorbus got killed past two tons of irony" carte.

Kate Veatch: [Peter sees her house for the first time] I like... unicorns.

Owen: [after Patches O'Houlihan has been killed] Look on the bright side, at least we've notwithstanding got Peter!

Dwight: Yes, but Globo Gym's got guys named Laser, and Blazer, and Tazer, and all kinds of "azer'southward"! Without Patches, we're going to become our taints handed to united states, that'southward what!

Justin: [Whispers to Gordon] What'due south a taint?

Gordon: I don't know, but it sounds *bad*!

Kate Veatch: [outside Kate's house] White? What are you lot doing hither? How do you know where I live?

White Goodman: It'due south called the Freedom of Data Act, Kate. The hippies finally got something right! Ha-ha! Only kidding. But non really.

Peter La Fleur: Hey, White. I didn't think that Nazi camp got out until eight. Did yous decide to skip arts and crafts?

White Goodman: Yep, I did.

[after sudden death is announced]

Cotton McKnight: Ladies and gentlemen, ready to witness the greatest happening in sport: sudden-decease dodgeball.

Pepper Brooks: Pepper needs new shorts!

White Goodman: [a hyper-obese White watches the commercial for Average Joe'south before turning off the Tv in disgust] Spare me... I won that tournament... fuckin' Chuck Norris!

Fran: You are the one that stares at me. Why is this?

Owen: [even though Fran is a tough, scary, Slavic woman] Because you are the well-nigh cute thing I've ever seen.

Dwight: I hope he falls off the roller coaster and breaks every os in his body.

Kate Veatch: Nice Dwight.

Dwight: Hey I'm just sayin' it happens. My cousin Ray-Ray, boop, dead.

Pepper Brooks: [Average Joe's team comes out in S & M gear] I feel like I'm watching a Cher video.

Owen: [after Patches got smashed with sign] Well... information technology's probably the manner he wanted to get...

Dwight: ...What?

Gordon: Guy, not to sound negative, merely nosotros've only had ane customer, and it'due south that weird guy who keeps paying Justin to wash his truck.

[the guys plow effectually to see Justin scrubbing a monster truck]

Weird Guy with Monster Truck: [while rubbing his abdomen] That's it, boy. Become in there all overnice and deep-like.

Cotton McKnight: Las Vegas. A city built of hot sand, broken dreams and $5 lobster. A city where y'all can become a happy catastrophe, if y'all pay a little actress. A city domicile to a sporting event greater than the Globe Loving cup, World Serial and Earth War Ii combined.

Peter La Fleur: Don't worry so much well-nigh this Amber situation. It'll all work itself out in the cease.

Justin: Thank you, Pete.

Peter La Fleur: Y'all'll express mirth at this one solar day. I'chiliad laughing already.

White Goodman: Run into Fran Stalinofskivitchdavitovichsky. In her home country of Romanovia, dodgeball is the national sport and her nuclear power institute's squad won the title 5 years running, which makes her the deadliest woman on earth with a dodgeball. Ball me, Blazer.

[Blazer passes him a dodgeball]

White Goodman: Show them, Fran.

[Fran takes the brawl and hurls it at a man on the other side of the bar, knocking him into the jukebox. He drops to the flooring, limp]

White Goodman: And that's just her change-up. End of demo. We are the Globo Gym Majestic Cobras, and we will, we will, stone y'all!

Justin: [frightened whisper] I remember that guy might really exist dead.

White Goodman: So, that'southward the deal... I requite you $100,000. You sign over the deed to your gym. Period. Cease o' story.

Peter La Fleur: You really recall y'all can come in here and buy me out, White? Y'all're a lot dumber than I thought.

White Goodman: Hmm. Oh, I don't think I'm a lot dumber than you thought that I think that I thought I was one time.

Kate Veatch: Mr La Fleur, I can clinch you this is a very serious situation.

Peter La Fleur: Yeah, no, this is extremely serious, Mrs, uh, Veach...

Kate Veatch: It'due south Ms. I'm going to demand to review all of your fiscal statements and assess any tax liabilities there may be.

Peter La Fleur: Absolutely. I don't know how you say Ms for a Mr 'crusade it's only Mr, but if at that place was a Ms Mr, I'one thousand a Ms too.

[first lines: Globo Gym commercial]

Globo Gym Advertisement Narrator: Tired of the same old you lot? Tired of existence out of shape and out of luck with the opposite sex? Tired of being overweight and under-attractive?

White Goodman: [finishing a ride on the skis] Yeah! Oh, hello. I'm White Goodman, Owner, Operator, and Founder of Globo Gym America Corp, and I'chiliad here to tell you that you don't have to exist stuck with what ya got.

[a buffed Globo Gym member is lifting weights]

White Goodman: Hey, Rory. Looking good. Here at Globo Gym, we understand that "Ugliness" and "Fatness" are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it'southward simply your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something virtually it.

[climbing on the rocky wall; grunts]

White Goodman: And that's where we come in.

[cackling]

White Goodman: Globo Gym employs a highly-trained, quasi-cultural staff of personal alterational specialists. And with our competitively-priced on-site cosmetic surgery, nosotros can turn that Frankenstein you run into in the mirror every forenoon into a Franken-fine!

[wheels out a bandaged-like-a-mummy person in a wheelchair]

White Goodman: Of course you'll withal be y'all in a legal sense, but call up of information technology as a thinner, more attractive, better you than you could ever become without us. How exercise I know? Well, I'm not only the founder of Globo Gym. I'k also a client.

[a picture of a 600-pound White Goodman from 14 years ago]

White Goodman: That's me. 6 years and 600 pounds ago... earlier I knew how much I hated myself. But that all changed once I founded Globo Gym. But don't just have my word for it. Listen to these Globo-Gymers tell you how it is.

Kate Veatch: That... is a actually interesting painting.

White Goodman: Thank you. Yeah, that'due south me, taking the bull by the horns. It'due south how I handle business. Information technology's a metaphor.

Kate Veatch: I get it.

White Goodman: Just that actually happened, though.

Peter La Fleur: That feels good. Oh, that tickle machine

[chuckles]

Peter La Fleur: [Peter's dog, Crash, jumps on him]

Peter La Fleur: Crash, no! Crash, out! Bad dog! No grundle.

White Goodman: [from the G.G. commercial] C'mon down and join the winning team, because hither at Globo Gym...

White & The Globo Gym Team: [all together] Nosotros're better than you...

White Goodman: and nosotros know it!

Peter La Fleur: [cloy] Spare me.

[a classic Dodgeball instructional film begins]

Uber Picture Narrator: [U.A.I.F fanfare] Uber-American Instructional Films, teaching America's youth since 1938.

[Opening; A boy rides a scooter, while a girl jogs behind him. Now we meet a young male child painting a fence]

Uber Pic Narrator: Hey there, Timmy!

Timmy: [yells] Holy mackerel, Mister. Yous scared the jeepers out of me.

Uber Film Narrator: How would you like to take a intermission from that fine lead-based paint... and learn about Dodgeball?

Timmy: Boy, would I!

[the adjacent scene take Timmy into a Opium Dem in China]

Timmy: Wow! Where am I, Mister?

Uber Picture Narrator: You're in a Chinese Opium Dem, Timmy. This is where the sport of Dodgeball was invented in the 15th Century... by Opium-addictive Chinamen. But dorsum then, the Chinamen threw severed heads at each other, instead of the A.D.A.A.-approved balls we use today.

Timmy: A.D.A.A.?

Uber Flick Narrator: That's the American Dodgeball Association of America. Dodgeball is played with six players on each team... and half dozen rubber balls. The object of the game is to eliminate the opposing players. One time all the players on team are eliminated, the opposing team wins!

Timmy: Wow! I tin't wait to get the fellas together and play!

White Goodman: In thirty days I'll exist bulldozing that shit-heap you lot call a gym into permanent nothingness. And I tin merely hope that y'all, and the mongrel race that contain your membership, are within it when I do.

White Goodman: [about Average Joe'south] Oh, really, y'all like it over there with those freaks in Losertown?

Kate Veatch: Freaks? They're not freaks, they're people just like you and me.

White Goodman: People, haha, people just similar you and me! That is what I dear nigh you Kate! Yous've got a *personality*!

[the Boilerplate Joes are dressed in S&M leather]

Audience Member: Hey, asshole! You guys suck!

White Goodman: [the judges vote to permit Average Joe'southward play] That is pure poppycock!

[while everyone is doing the shuttle run]

Patches O'Houlihan: Come on! I go improve runs in my shorts!

White Goodman: Oh, how-do-you-do, Kate. I wasn't enlightened I was paying you lot to "socialize".

Kate Veatch: You're not. I'chiliad off the clock.

White Goodman: Well, isn't that convenient for you? And the clock.

[White reaches out to kiss Kate]

White Goodman: To be continued...

[She twists his arm and slams his face into the wall]

Kate Veatch: You don't get to touch me, ever!

White Goodman: Here at Globo Gym we're better than you, and nosotros know information technology.

Dwight: We could sell blood and semen.

[everyone gives him a foreign expect]

Dwight: What? Non mixed together.

Cotton McKnight: It looks like the clock is near to strike midnight on this Cinderella story, turning Average Joe'due south into the proverbial pumpkin.

Pepper Brooks: I certain practice like pumpkins, Cotton.

White Goodman: Oh, Kate, I didn't realize y'all were here.

Kate Veatch: You asked me to come, White.

White Goodman: [reading a dictionary] Well, you lot caught me, I like to break a mental sweat too.

White Goodman: We ARE the Globo Gym Royal Cobras... and nosotros volition, we volition, stone you lot!

[the whole team slaps their thighs, then rears up and hisses loudly]

Owen: I'yard gonna grab up with you guys afterwards. I'm gonna have a bath... go to the drink... in the bathroom.

Dwight: Whatever you practice, launder your easily.

Cotton McKnight: We haven't seen Boilerplate Joe's yet. They haven't made it to the court. It could be a psychological ploy, or something worse.

Pepper Brooks: They're definitely not on the court, Cotton. Their absence is noticeable.

German language Motorcoach: [shouting in High german] You are all swine! You have brought shame to your houses! Losers!

Peter La Fleur: Well, if you can't raise 50 thousand dollars with an impromptu carwash, I gauge it merely wasn't in the cards.

Justin: How many teams are in this qualifier?

Gordon: Uh, two.

Justin: So all we have to do is beat out this team and nosotros're in the Vegas Open up, right?

Gordon: Yeah!

Owen: That seems pretty simple.

Dwight: Who's the other team?

Gordon: Uh, I have it right hither, just a 2d... Troop 417.

Steve the Pirate: Christ! We're playin' Boy Scouts!

Peter La Fleur: Not quite!

[Troop 417 are tough-looking Daughter Scouts; i spits on the ground]

Steve the Pirate: BOLLOCKS!

White Goodman: My gym is worth more than four million dollars, your gym isn't even worth four. My gym has stockholders, your gym doesn't even have cup holders.

Peter La Fleur: Why would I want cup holders.

Peter La Fleur: I found that if you have a goal, that yous might not attain it. Merely if you don't have one, and then you are never disappointed. And I gotta tell ya, it feels phenomenal!

Justin: Well, it'll be worth my while when I make the cheerleading squad this time. Evidence to Amber and anybody else that I'thousand not a loser.

Peter La Fleur: Wait, yous desire to brand the cheerleading team to show to a girl that you are non a loser?

Justin: Yep... Why?

Peter La Fleur: Zilch, only high school's changed a little since I was a kid.

Patches O'Houlihan: [Giving advice from across the grave to Peter LaFleur at the climactic game] Listen up, crotch stain. Retrieve your training, and trust your instincts. Yous can practice information technology! I believe in yous! Bye-good day!

White Goodman: Your "gym" is a skidmark on the underpants of society.

Justin: This place is too important to us! Gordon, where practice you lot become when your married woman changes the locks?

Gordon: Boilerplate Joe'south.

Justin: Correct! Dwight, Owen, what are you going to do if Boilerplate Joe's closes? Y'all gonna work at the airport again?

Dwight: Say what? I ain't working at no airport!

Justin: No, 'crusade yous hated it! Steve! Where is it you become to do... whatever it is that you exercise?

Steve the Pirate: Garrr! Joe's be the but identify for Steve!

White Goodman: At Globo Gym nosotros understand that "ugliness" and "fatness" are genetic disorders, much like alopecia or necrophilia, and information technology's merely your fault if you lot don't detest yourself plenty to do something about it.

Tournament Referee: [whistle bravado] No elimination, double mistake! Double mistake, you stepped over the line on the throw! Double mistake!

White Goodman: What?

[comes over to Referee, Me'Shell snarls]

White Goodman: You gotta be out of your mind, that is the worst call I've ever seen! I mean I'g out here busting my butt, and yous come in hither with a bush-league telephone call like that?

Me'Beat Jones: Come on!

White Goodman: That is total bullcrap!

Tournament Referee: ADAA Continuation 113-D, sir. Sudden Death!

[All the oversupply auspicious]

White Goodman: All right, bring it.

[closing credits; 1st always Average Joe's commerical upon the takeover from Globo Gym]

Peter La Fleur: Hi. I'thousand Peter La Fleur, Possessor and Operator of Average Joe's Gym. And I'g here to tell yous, you lot're perfect just the way you are. But if you lot feel like losing a few pounds, gettin' healthier, and making some skillful friends in the process...

[easily a towel to a female member]

Peter La Fleur: ...so Joe's is the place for y'all. Don't forget that Youth Dodgeball classes are forming right at present. So come up on down and learn a great game the fashion it'southward supposed to be played. Right, kids?

Boilerplate Joe's Kids: Right!

[throws the balls at Peter and the team]

White Goodman: And they love you. Whoo, do they beloved you. You lot're their Fonzie, Pete. "Heeeeey." Correct?

Voice on phone: This is Seth from Videorama. The following DVDs are now overdue: "Drunken Hussies 3", "Backdoor Patrol 5" and "Bona Lisa Grinning". Thank you.

Peter La Fleur: There's someone out there for everybody.

Owen: You call back?

Peter La Fleur: Absolutely. In some cases, there's ii somebodies for 1 person. I similar to call that "the jackpot".

White Goodman: Last I heard, my gym makes coin. Yours doesn't. My gym'southward worth over $4 million. Your gym isn't worth iv. I have shareholders. You haven't even got cup holders.

Fran: Delight to exercise information technology once more... from the behind.

White Goodman: Y'all like the freaky stuff, huh? That's absurd. I can be naughty, too. Real, freaky naughty.

White Goodman: I know you've been hiding some feelings for me.

Kate Veatch: Yeah. Nausea. If you don't leave in two seconds, you'll know how that feels.

[before the championship game]

Peter La Fleur: Okay guys, let's play smart. Look for your two-on-ones, cover closely for your pickups. What's our team motto?

Owen: Aim depression?

Peter La Fleur: That's right. All I'g request is that you give it your best for Patches. I say nosotros get out there, we let information technology all hang loose, try to have some fun. I mean, it'due south simply dodgeball, right?

[Everyone laughs]

Peter La Fleur: Put 'em in.

[Easily in]

Peter La Fleur: I, two, 3...

Peter La Fleur,Owen,Justin,Kate Veatch,Dwight,Gordon: JOE'S!

White Goodman: Team? What team? Your best player thinks he's a pirate.

Peter La Fleur: Offset of all, he is way more of a pirate than you'll e'er be!

Cotton wool McKnight: Skillz might be looking by Boilerplate Joe's doing a fiddling more dancing than dodgeballing out in that location.

Pepper Brooks: They improve chiggity-check themselves before they wreck themselves, Cotton fiber.

Mr. Ralph: Unfortunately for Troop 417, during the ADAA-required random drug screening, one of your player's urine tested positive for 3 divide types of anabolic steroids & a low-grade... beaver tranquilizer. I'm afraid, by rule, your squad must exist butterfingers.

Angry Troop #417 Daughter: [throws her cap into Bernice's breast and storms off] Goddamn you Bernice! Ooohh!

[Bernice, a very hairy & big girl with a very deep voice & slight mustache cries into her hands]

Mr. Ralph: By the ability vested in me, I declared the winner of this year's Dodgeball regional qualified tournament and grammar jamboree to be... Boilerplate Joe's Gym!

[Peter, Owen, Gordon, Justin, Dwight and Steve the Pirate cheering]

Angry Troop #417 Girl #ii: [to Bernice] You lied!

[Bernice crying continues]

White Goodman: [after credits scene, White Goodman is dancing to Kelis' Shake] My milkshakes brings all the boys to the thousand, and they're like its improve than yours, damn right its better than yours, I could teach you simply I have to charge

[stops singing]

White Goodman: Fatty arrive funny

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Source: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0364725/quotes/qt0475769